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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the safe haven in everyday journalism, and publications remain attentive regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, especially in relation to football. It was quite amusing to discover that an online journalist Adrian Chiles has a West Brom-themed urinal within his residence. Reflect for a moment regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom a little too literally, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss versus the Cod Army. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated an official from the local fire department. And who can forget when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, the controversial forward popped into a local college to use the facilities during 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a student told the Manchester Evening News. “Subsequently he wandered round the campus like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager after a brief chat within a restroom stall alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the legendary venue. As Davies recalls in his journal, his private Football Association notes, he stepped into the wet beleaguered England dressing room immediately after the match, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams “fired up”, both players begging for the director to convince Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the dressing room corner, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies tried desperately to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate for a private conversation?” stated Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Only one option presented itself. The restroom stalls. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history occurred in the ancient loos of a stadium facing demolition. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I shut the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I struggled to occupy my time. I began working with the visually impaired team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably in the quarter of a century since. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are long gone, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for women's football cup news concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, in just our underwear. We were Europe’s best referees, elite athletes, role models, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We scarcely made eye contact, our looks wavered slightly nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a freezing stare. Quiet and watchful” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures officials were once put through by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“What does a name matter? A Dr Seuss verse exists named ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to oversee the primary team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and provided some branded items, I have decided to put finger to keypad and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|